Police murdered George Floyd

I watched my city burn this week. I watched four people sworn to protect it kill an unarmed black man while in custody.

I watched white supremacists with and without a badge come out of the woodwork to accelerate the destruction of immigrant and black communities.

I watched a city otherwise plagued by segregation and racial injustice band together, push back against the police, overrun a precinct, and come back the next day with brooms and trash bags to clean up.

I listened through the night as gunfire, sirens, helicopters, and explosions filled the air. I listened to the sounds of hammers and drills fastening plywood to the businesses down the street from me.

I watched the news spin our anger against us, calling a man a thug for stealing a baby seat from Target. I read reports of undercover cops pretending to be protesters to embed a visible reason for the police to incite violence.

I joined a peaceful protest as it marched around downtown until agoraphobia and exhaustion got the better of me. I saw videos of pepper spray coming through the driver side windows of squad cars as they moved through the very same crowd I was a part of. A protest where volunteers were handing out face masks because we’re still in a fucking pandemic, offer first aid, and block off traffic ahead of the march because no officials were there to help.

I read as news broke that Derek Chauvin was arrested and brought in on weak charges of manslaughter and murder, and a medical examiner’s report that blamed George Floyd for his own death. Three other known officers are unaccounted for and dozens more are still able to incite and antagonize freely.

Most of us are not violent, and most of the ones who were are well within their right to be. The remaining few took advantage and exploited the situation.

My black friends and neighbors are tired, angry, and scared. We all are. We’re grieving not just for George Floyd, but for every black person killed by or living in fear of the police. We’re grieving a system that isn’t going to change.

Until Derek Chauvin is convicted on the charges he deserves, I will not let myself believe that this time is different.