dadbod.txt

A good father figure (heteronormatively speaking)…

• Doesn’t use his mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, or daughter as shields for his sexist fodder
• Fucking shows up early and stays late
• Listens and waits to speak
• Normalizes women’s reproductive health
• Doesn’t call his kid a quitter; gives them support for trying something new; helps them process why they quit, what they learned
• Breaks down household gender roles; allows the home dynamic to evolve naturally; feels no shame if the matriarch rules the roost, but doesn’t fall short on his responsibility
• Can fucking apologize in front of and to his kids
• Advocates/protests on behalf of the underrepresented; educates his kids on why it matters and how they can help
• Calls out toxic masculinity in himself and his male peers (I could go off about what a father isn’t just on this topic alone)
• Lets his nails get painted
• Actively and openly talks about what he’s learning; encourages his family to share too
• Proactively finds gaps in the security and well-being of the family and works to fill them, seeks input from the family
• Allows his kids their contrasting views; demonstrates the importance of allowing views to be challenged healthily
• Stops short of manipulation, condescension
• Establishes and demonstrates healthy boundaries
• Doesn’t act like he can shoulder everything himself, but thinks first before asking for help
• Can more than cover his costs of burden
• Does not even pretend to be his partner’s everything; actively de-stigmatizes seeking help with mental health
• Just fucking isn’t his partner’s child
• Absolutely gets giddy when his kids shows interest in what he’s doing; thanks them for interest; thanks them if they help
• Works with his partner to ensure both are getting the time away that they need, as individuals and as a couple (can we normalize solo vacations in relationships? Seriously. Sometimes I want to go away for a weekend and exist.)
• Helps with homework; turns the process of learning an answer into something educational in itself; helps foster a purposeful life of self-educating
• Destigmatizes talking about finances in front of kids; provides kids with practical financial knowledge
• Destigmatizes sex; draws clear boundaries on what’s appropriate to talk about; practices mindfulness to allow his kids to comfortably seek him out for help
• Isn’t a fucking asshole
• Can leave a heated environment without slamming the fucking door
• Recognizes how he carries his physical presence around his kids, constantly checks that he is not a menacing figure
• Worships every square goddamn inch of the mother of his children